Not sleeping

It is becoming more and more common that I have insomnia. I am always depressed and irritable.  It causes so much stress.   I hit a wall today, because I was so frustrated with everything.   I didn’t break the wall though… which was actually kind of sad. While I wouldn’t have liked to patch it, it would have been nice to know that I was strong enough to.  *sighs*  . In the past I couldn’t sleep at night and only the days, but now I can’t even do that, as LizBeth keeps me very busy during the day.  
I even tried taking some sleeping pills. It seemed to work the first night, but not the second.  I sleep so much better when Titus isn’t in bed. I really like having the whole bed… not that I love cuddling with him, I just can’t seem to get comfortable enough to fall asleep when he is holding me.   Grr.   I feel so terrible…. in so many ways.  I have tried counting every breath and reading too. Doesn’t work.
I don’t even know when I fall asleep now.  Its like I just pass out sometime around morning.  I’m so tired of being awake.  (Laughs to self about the oxymoronic sentence).   I hate laying in bed next to my sleeping husband.  He feels so distant.
  He tried staying up with me tonight, but I just couldn’t.  He had already put in such a long day….. over 12 hours at work!   It has been like that for weeks now.  I miss him dearly.
Ok well, I am going to try some more reading. Gnight.

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