Get it together, Man!

How can someone know that there is a problem and do nothing about it?  How can someone know they have an issue with weight (myself included) and not do somthing about it?   It is a struggle.  It is something that you constantly have to work at.  Not giving in. Not giving up.

I feel like my marriage is dying.  It is slowly fading away.  I remember feeling this a year ago and knowing that my marriage had become boring.  So, I decided that the next step was to have a child.  And I feel like now our daughter has become “The old toy” .  She doesn’t excite him any more….. I don’t excite him anymore.  Nothing does.   He doesn’t have any goals or any dreams.  He can’t even tell me what his dream vacation is!  He is just floating out there somewhere and he doesn’t want to fix it.

I have tried talking to him about it… but nothing changes.  Nothing gets through to him.  *sighs*  It breaks my heart.  He has even quit praying for me before he goes off to work.  It was always the same prayer.. but it was something.  He doesn’t even say good bye.

So, how am I supposed to believe that he loves me….. that I mean anything to him… if he wont try to help our marriage?  I can’t hold it together for both of us.

I have told him before that if our marriae doesn’t work then I will never get married again.  And I still stand by that.  He is such a good man.  He is just not standing up and being the leader.  I don’t have the time or the energy to lead.  I told him from the very begining that I needed and wanted a man that would lead.  And now he wants me to hold his hand through EVERYTHING. He has put me in a place where I can’t do anything, but wait here for him.  “How long shall I wait, O Lord?”